by Michele Leonardi © April 2018
On the problem of recurrent economic crises, of (not) full employment,
and the "technological unemployment", due to automation.
Chao comrades ☭☭☭!
Keep calm and don't move!
God save the Tea, since
Capitalism is killing himself.
Quiet! Stay quiet ...
THE SUNSET OF CAPITALISM
Oh my Gold!!!! Heeeeelp me !!!!!!! SOS !!!! the Derivatives !!!!! nooooOoO!!!!!! The Hedge Fund, oh nooOOo!!
aaaaHHHHh!!!! Damn! another Crisis!!! my brokerage business!!!!
!!! my pension funds burned in a secoooonD NoooooO!!!!
Oof ! What a fuss ...
At least, you have already worked.
You can imagine who has never worked!
Look at your glass like
half-full, not as half empty.
Optimism, comrade ☭ the ex-broker, optimism!
It's okay mister Marx,
but now I need a new job!
To start over
you could go to the West India Docks
and do some day of salaried alienation
unloading and loading the looted anarchic-capitalist dirty pork goods,
among which my special blend
of specious oriental teas, of course.
Forgive me for contradicting you, sir,
but from the day you transmigrated from London,
14 March of 1883,
a lot of things have changed in this place:
where once there were the Docks now there are high-rise offices.
And they are just those offices where I worked,
before the umpteenth fucking financial crisis!
Young comrade ☭, how can I help you?
You could interview me,
this is already a job, or not?
Okay mister Karl Marx,
let's start now:
what do you think of current ...
No mister Marx, that won't do!
If you give the job to the comrade ☭ ex broker,
me what the shit do I do?
Me who I just got fired at the age of 60?!?
Right now that there is no work even for the potato pushers!!
I was a train driver, but they continued to suppress railway lines
in order to sell more cars and they continued to inaugurate
new dead railway sidings. So in the end my bosses put me
in the middle of a road: fired for excess staff!
But my fucking bosses, they took millions of super bonus!!!
These killers of the world echonomy, these sons of a big beach!
Magna meretrix! Big doxy!!
I must admit that only 135 years
after my departure for the other world things are
very bad, even worse than expected. Fucking hostiles!!
I feel a smell of turbocapitalism ...
But it is useless for you to get angry with
the managing directors, because they do only what the
socio-economic capitalist system - intrinsically anarchic - imposes them to do.
... Is already.
Comrade ☭ Karl, you don't know
how many other big messes have happened!!
There was the October Revolution in Russia in 1917,
two World Wars, many other megamesses and
then it also collapsed the Berlin Wall!
Really?!? Has there been
an earthquake in Berlin?
We can not leave for a moment,
that it happens a Revolution!
Have you tried with psychodynamic yoga?
They say that it gives a lot of power ... to the
revolutionary and muddler spirit which resides
in the archetypal unconscious of each of us.
we all want to work,
we are not expert windbags!
Really! Stop talking!!
I want just to work!
And me? Me too,
I'm not child of a lesser god!
I too would like to work!
And me too!!
I am also here!!
Crisis? Which crisis?
Don't worry, humans! I don't know crisis!
With the free enterprise, privatization of
atmospheric air, rationalization and recovery of the
aerophagic effluvia, that is to say flatulences,
that is to say farts, with the zeroing of public spending,
many more tears, blood and rotten piss,
it will settle everything,
especially my encrypted current account in Luxembourg
or Liechtenstein, I don't remember! ;-)
What the fuck do I care about of you
stupid losers, unable to survive natural selection,
predicted by the theory of evolution.
Not even you have a recommendation
from an uncle archpriest!
You asocial barracuda!
We extinguish you now, not Darwin!!
Yes, kind of barracuda,
we turn you into a fish soup with tomato and parsley!
So you learn better the bullshit of the natural selection
and all there is to know about social Darwinism.
... Revolution! Revolution!! Revolution! Revolution!! Revolution! Revolution!!!
The voice of the people: "It's a zionist conspiracy!" - "It's the fault of the polical caste!" - "No, it's the multinationals!" - "It's the financial elite, the bankers!" - "No, the Americans!" - "No, the Russians!" - "It's an alien conspiracy: they are the reptilians hidden among us!" - "It's all the Masons' fault!" - "No, the Chinese!" - "No, it's the devil!"
Comrades ☭☭☭ ... Why?
Why you never understand a papaya?
Keep calm and reduce your speed now!
Now, I have a new revolutionary takeaway
idea perfect to move with the times!
Steers, stay steers ...
... One job for everyone, less hours working for each one! ***
One tomato to each one, it does not hurt anyone.
Each of you will plant and harvest one tomato by year.
In this way in your free time you will do what you like best,
but not for pagan alienating profit,
neither for accumulation of obscene disgusting monetary surplus-value
stolen from urban, agrarian, highlander,
maritime, underwater and celestial proletariat.
How do you get these brilliant ideas?
What do you care? Maybe a crystal ball??!?
No, I don't practice the art of divination,
if that's what you mean.
Simply every evening I do crosswords, of course.
All right, comrades ☭☭☭, cut the chatter!
You who are still alive,
start planting this fucking tomatoes!!!
Rock'n'roll ! ... Revolution!
Ten years after,
Anno Domini 2030:
THE DEEP RED VIRUS
has infected the whole
of Eurasia ...
Rome, Berlin, Paris, London, Moscow:
the post-communist MacTomatoes ☭☭☭
conquer the whole of Old Continent!
THE DEEP RED SPREADS !!!
Those who have the economic means
vaccinate themselves with massive doses of heavy
economic deregulation and fucking privatizations.
More and more the Caspian Sea is exploited to
irrigate the endless catholic-communist plantations of
Roma Tomatoes, from Santiago de Compostela to Vladivostok.
In order to organize
an inane brave
Slow Food Resistance,
we prepare our
IN MOLOTOV BOTTLES...
picture of Roma Tomatoes full of antioxidants such as provitamin R-revolution ☭
... and we make it
with the sinful
Case of tomato cultivar created during
the fascism, from where the sin.
Well done, comrades ☭☭☭!
Who sows a tomato,
then picks up a little canned tomato.
I see that you have listened to my NE.PRO.TO.P.CO.M.FOR.THI.MILL.,
New Programmatic Tomato-Post-Communist Manifesto for the Third Millennium,
for the joy of all our spaghetti al dente.
Now we try to finish the Great Work
according to NEW.F.I.P.,
the New Fifty-Year Implementation Plan.
In the end do not tell us that the City of Rome
is not the most bureaucratic municipality in Italy!
In this field nobody beyond us!!! Not even Brussels.
And in order to assert the meritocracy,
in the day of Communist Christmas Eve ☭, the TO.P.COM.S.C.Or.,
the Tomato-Post-Communist Supreme Central Organisation,
will organize an imperial mega competition for a permanent job
addressed to all the comrades ☭☭☭ who populate
our Roman Communist Empire Restoration.
Absolutely no entry to the barbaric primitive savage
brutal uncivilized verminous animal turbocapitalists residing beyond
the borders, infected by contagious retroviral neoliberalism.
The candidate who will stand out for the highest level
of ass-kisserism, he will have the coveted permanent job.
But there is only one available for everybody, in all, of course.
Next competition in twenty years.
Comrade ☭ Karl, this system
does not seem the best for the popular republic
of Roman Communist Empire Restoration!
Dear comrade ☭ W-thay
or who the hell are you,
you don't understand
that even the permanent job
is a form of fetishistic bourgeois iconolatry.
In reality, the only permanent job for everybody is not a prize,
but an infernal punishment aimed at the most ambitious among
the ass-lickers, destined to the chastisement of emargination-gulag
in a context of maximized social envy, able to trigger a collective
mobbing-gulag process, that will lead them to redeem
yourself by forfeiting forever to every petit-bourgeois
vain ambition of permanent job, thus leaving
the only available permanent job
in this lottery where everyone has to lose,
matrix and downside of illusion factory
elaborated by the unpunished destructive secular mercantilistic
system by now on Sunset Boulevard, historically realized in its
only possible tired and decadent purpose, that is the robberies of natural resources owned by the peoples and the labor force stolen from the peoples,
always an original property of the people and of the whole underclass,
including terraqueous pets and robots, this last exploited
as a new commodity category of asexual exchange,
objectified with the customary nonaffective system of
contemptible filthy satanic money, of course.
Wait, what are you saying??!?
Can you repeat?
But then ... I speak Chinese!!!
Comrades ☭☭☭, stop!
Get the fuck out of here!
At the end you have highly broken my balls.
You never understand a damn MacTomato
of what I tell you!
Rather, from now I'm
not a comrade anymore,
and from now on,
I'm minding 100,000 tons of
my own fucking business.
Well, I'll never come back.
Manage by yourself, and tomatock-off!
Vox populi ... "Damn! He left for a different galaxy!" - "You bet your ass, he is a spirit!" - "And now what do we do?!?!" - "Have you understood something?" - "I don't know! Maybe he said that someone stole all the spaghetti of Communist ☭ Party!" - "And the barracuda? What do we do with him?" - "Which barracuda? It seems a shark!" ...
My hearing isn't so good:
what was he saying?
He was saying that there is none so deaf
as he who will not hear.
Okay, me too now I say goodbye to you,
because the Rallenty, the slow-motion train
to Tomatograd, it's about to leave.
Dear Reader, do you believe that this Italian-English translation is a real
eco-friendly cow shit squashed on the meadow?
In the not negative case please help us to improve it, thanks and fatti-i-cazzi-tuoi.